I found it interesting that as a I sat in on a youth (primarily high school and a good number of middle school students) Wednesday night Bible study in Picayune, Mississippi with greater emphasis on song and praise (1 hour long), that my constituents who were of college age and essentially outsiders listened in disbelief as the youth pastor rambled on in his sermon. I am not saying we disagreed with the topic but I can say that we did not concede to the same approach.

            For starters, the man (age 30) shared a story about how he became engaged with his now future wife. With 30 minutes for sharing/sermon, he carried on for 15 minutes about his engagement acknowledging that it wasn’t quite related to the sermon he had prepared. He shared how he prayed to God that if she was the girl for him, that he would like to see it snow within the week. He almost wrote it down but did not (thankfully) because he thought it inane that God would make it snow in Picayune, Mississippi. Then six days later and much too his disbelief, it snowed…in Mississippi. Now, don’t get me wrong. That is pretty mad impressive and a nice gesture, but this youth pastor did not make it clear that we should not be testing God. Furthermore, his sheer joy almost bordered on the emotion of gloating because had he kept his sharing to 5 minutes and not point to his would be wife several times while apologizing that she would probably kill him for embarrassing her, I wouldn’t have mind a 5 minute story.

            Yet his persistence into sheer nothingness devalued the time he should have spent delving in on the important subject because the reality is that his sermon, entitled God wants a “Sexy church” (or whatever), still did not tie in all together. I know that he said that it wouldn’t have, but it still irked me that he carried on forever about a story that the people did not seem as enthused as he in the first place.

            The sermon itself was almost somewhat decent (and I know I am harsh because it is vastly easier to critique and to give feedback rather than do). But if you are leading a people and want to make an impact, do it right and with a more altruistic approach because my compradres shared my sentiments after we left. I found it surprising and comforting b/c we all disagreed with the man’s approach. His sermon wanted to talk about sexiness of the church but the cleverness still eluded me. 

            He said that the church should be sexy, that it should appeal to the people. Sure, I guess, but still not a sufficient definition with this kind of crowd. I could not grasp this “sexiness” of a definition (b/c maybe I am lacking that) but it was a bit risqué and I felt lost within his definition. I needed better clarity because sexy more commonly refers to the primordial urge of sex. I know that it has a functional role in marriage and such, but for my friends especially, it really turned them off. We wanted substance based on the Scripture b/c it lacked some concrete support. The title was a major turn off.

            I do acknowledge that that he made some good points, such as the need for the people to reach out to others. Good point because as he relayed another story. He discusses how he ran into a high school senior one day, and asked the kid why he never returned. The kid responded that no one else at the church other than the pastor himself made an effort to talk to him. So he stopped coming. Point taken but his sermon title was supposed to be about making the church appeal to the people, hence the sexiness. But still very little seemed as interconnected as I would hope because maybe I might have overlooked something.

            So at the end of the night, we left a minute early because he already went over 10 minutes of his supposed 30-minute sermon, which by the way he spent his overtime somehow referring back to the proposal story at some junction. Thus he left himself with 2 minutes of recap for really covering the gist of the sermon. Where does this leave me? Not much. My friends and I disagreed with his title. We did not think there was enough substance in his sermon. We could only discuss the weaknesses of the sermon indicating that he left a sour impression on our seemingly malleable minds. By the way, I should note that before we left, he asked the high school kids and below (80 plus) if they felt his sermon or the worship from earlier. Only a few kids raised their hands b/c even though kids and/or crowds are usually tentative to raise their hands, I am pretty sure that many did not raise his hands for a lack of feeling. One of my friends astutely pointed out that .the pastor tried too much to be cool for his own good. Even though I know this youth pastor has the right intentions with a most sincere desire to reach out to them, his method of approach felt ineffectual and almost gaudy, lacking substance and focus…that hopefully is a biased opinion based on one night alone.

In the fanfare of things, with all great successes come risks and falls. And in searching for the most complete of experiments, controls and variables, I have run into an unmovable barrier that has left me perplexed.

so a girl who i haven't seen in 7 years, I randomly spark up a conservation, via Facebook of course. (Thank God for facebook b.c stalkerlicious can go super ninja here.)

me - "hey. wanna go 'out?'" (and remember, this is all part of the dating experiment in which I divulge the superficial traps only to hide covert traps.)

agent C minus (C her code name & grade) - "uh....(and 7 weeks later)...I guess.”

"Great." I say....so the next day, I send her message. No answer. Hm. Maybe she didn't get it. maybe it was lost in translation or something - but I don't know if English to English can get any more convoluted than that. Ring. No answer yet again. Maybe there's too much static? So I step off the carpeted floor onto ceramic tiles, and yet again no answer. Hm....

So after 41 messages and 9 hours later, I get a reply, "I took at nap at 8PM until 11AM."

me - "Are you serious? That's more like a hibernation."

C - "Yeah. Well, I woke up early today..."

Hm, sounds almost as bad as "I'm washing my hair."

The second attempt at this date, message goes, "you ready?" No reply. Hm. Maybe she is sleeping. I'll try again in another hour. Hour passes. Ring. Hm. No reply still. Maybe her phone is on silent. I'll try again an hour later. Ring. No reply yet again. Odd. Maybe she's passed out from exertion. I might need to call the ambulance.

So I call the ambulance, and they call her...2 hours later, I call the ambulance to find out what happened. "Oh. C? She was watching TV."

me - "What? TV?” So I msg her.

me - "hello?"

9 hours later, C - "yeah?"

me - "where have you been?"

C - "Oh. I got a new phone. Didn't have your number."

"new number?"

"yeah. uh. yeah..."

hm. I know what you are thinking – she’s trying to avoid my like george bush avoiding a dictionary. But really, it sounds like someone is trying to play hard to get... b.c if using chopsticks was easy, then all of us would be professional chop sticker holders. confused? me too.